Title: Rebuilding Trust Through Understanding
A Journey of Beliefs, Perceptions, and Experiences
Trust between parents, teachers, and children can easily be fractured, especially when misunderstandings or past hurts shape our behavior. In the classroom, where children with learning challenges face unique obstacles, rebuilding trust can make all the difference in their success. I want to share a story about a 6th-grade student named Jack and his math teacher. Both struggled to trust one another due to their beliefs, perceptions, and past experiences, but with time, patience, and understanding, they built a new foundation for learning.
Beliefs: Jack’s math teacher believed that accommodations for students with disabilities were unfair. His upbringing taught him that people should face challenges head-on and that disabilities were often used as an excuse. This belief stemmed from his childhood, where emotional disabilities weren’t acknowledged or understood. Jack, on the other hand, believed that men couldn’t be trusted because his father had been abusive before abandoning the family. These core beliefs shaped the way both Jack and the teacher viewed one another. Jack was dismissive of his teacher's authority, and the teacher saw Jack as disrespectful.
Perceptions: The teacher perceived Jack as defiant and lazy, thinking Jack's reluctance to participate in math was a form of rebellion rather than a struggle with the subject. Jack, in turn, saw the teacher as another man who would likely hurt him emotionally, reinforcing his reluctance to engage. These perceptions fueled their mutual disdain for being in the same room. The tension was palpable, and neither of them had the tools to break free from these limiting perspectives.
Experiences: Jack had grown up hearing from previous teachers that he was not a “bright child” and would never be good at math. These negative experiences compounded his distrust in his abilities and his reluctance to even try. The teacher, growing up in a household that denied emotional struggles, was never taught how to see disabilities as real barriers to learning. His own experiences reinforced a hardened perspective on what hard work should look like and led him to believe that Jack simply wasn’t trying.
Rebuilding Trust: I began working with both Jack and the teacher, starting by shifting the classroom setup. Rather than having students with disabilities segregated at the back of the room, I moved from table to table to support students more discreetly. This simple adjustment prevented singling out students like Jack and created a more inclusive environment.
I also worked with the teacher privately, offering strategies to support Jack’s learning while reinforcing the teacher’s lesson plans. Slowly, one step at a time, we implemented behavior support strategies. Jack began to gain confidence as he saw his progress in math, and his relationship with the teacher softened as the teacher started to see the hard work Jack was putting in. Over time, the teacher's belief about disabilities shifted as he realized how much effort it took for Jack to succeed.
Conclusion: The relationship between Jack and his teacher was never about one being right and the other wrong—it was about beliefs, perceptions, and experiences that shaped their understanding of one another. When we took the time to address those underlying factors, trust was rebuilt, and both Jack and his teacher were able to grow. This story is a reminder to parents and teachers that rebuilding trust with our children or students starts by recognizing the deeper layers that inform behavior and perspective. When we do, we create a space where children can thrive—academically, emotionally, and relationally.
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